A lawyer in a corporate legal firm was frustrated with the close supervision of her boss and the micro-management of her timesheet - so much so, she was sick with stress.
We met on three occasions ¨C the first time was in a caf¨¦ to help her assess whether career counselling could help her. The second meeting explored her skills, the types of jobs and interests she had, and her personality. Using both psychological tools and a counselling approach, it became clear that variety, artistic expression and social justice issues were as important to her as her paid work.
In fact, she wanted to become an air-hostess in order to create the opportunities for this ¨C she already had her own personal plan, but it felt like a backward step ¨C lawyer to ¡°trolley-dolly¡± in one move. At 30 yrs old, single, energetic & with global interests she needed to feel it was a positive step, (and not just “running away” from her current problems). Behind the hesitancy was “how to tell her mum”.
At the third meeting, we agreed that she needed to talk ¡°out loud¡± through all the considerations, and also to plan how to tell her mum. We considered the realistic responses that her mum was likely to give, and how she might both control her own emotions and answer the questions.
She took the job, moved her base closer to Europe and the interests she loved, with her family’s blessing. Her terrible experience of stress turned out to be the trigger for a rewarding life change.
An academic wanted to return to the “doing” side of her profession. But to date she had been unable to make up her mind how to. She had read the career books and done the exercises, but had been unable to establish any forward impetus.
We met only the once. It felt to her like we had achieved little after the first meeting, other than to go over old ground. When she rang to cancel the second meeting, I reflected what I observed of her life, about her desire for a country-based career and her city-based love interest.
This crystallised her thinking, by presenting back to her the simplest of choices in the middle of what had appeared a very complicated set of issues. She knew she wanted her job in the country, and now she understood that her partner being unwilling to leave the city with her was an obstacle to the happiness she preferred. Her career urge was stronger than love, and she chose to leave the city, and her partner, behind her.
So often it is simply talking to someone who knows which questions to ask and then reflect back the answers that help people uncover their own wisdom and determination.
